Monday, February 28, 2011
Sweet & Sour: The Journey of Life
Life is the reason that you should have hope. The storms of life can weigh you down if/when you allow them to. It can be hard sometimes even, most times still, dwelling in the misery of the things you have absolute no control of, can and will only do one thing... It will take away your joy. So, make the choice to not let it.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
It Could Be Me!
Caring for another individual is beautiful. It is a sacrifice. It is a gift. Not everyone has the grace to care for another, especially the sick, the disabled, needy or anyone for that matter. Caring for another individual is more than work per se, it is an innate trait. It is a blessing to be able to have the opportunity to do so. True, we cannot change the direction of the wind but we sure can adjust the sail.
Different individuals choose Medical profession especially “Nursing” profession for different reasons. Reasons like job stability, money-making profession that one can acquire zillion over time hours but most importantly, to care for those who need the help of medical science and all its providers to be healthy and have a better prolonged life.
I have always believed that it is a good thing to always be good to everyone we meet because our situation could change in a heartbeat and our life could depend on another individual. If or when it does, I always pray for God to also give me a caring nurse during my time of need in a healthcare facility. For many years, I have researched to understand the basis people choose this great but tasking profession. I have come to understand that when you are a selfless individual that have an unconditional love for another regardless of the reason for the “chosen” profession, the best part of you will set in when the time comes.
As a HealthCare Administrative Intern, I came to appreciate “Nursing” even better, after having seen nurses at work, at the Texas Medical Center. Nursing profession requires a lot of patience, care, devotion, trust, time, selflessness, but most of all, the spirit of God to be able to render such a generous service.
There is saying that goes like, “When one is mourning for the dead, he is also mourning for himself.” I believe this to be true. Things can go wrong in our lives at anytime regardless. In the healthcare industry, there could be medication error, equipment malfunction, medical record misplacement, wrong patient data, job burnout… you name it. No one is beyond mistakes but, certain mistakes can be avoided in a lot of ways especially when we, as individuals do our part, most effectively.
I observed dedicated nurses at this hospital, an outstanding healthcare organization and I admire them. I love their enthusiasm. I love their devotion. I also observe the way they care for these patients as if they are caring for themselves or loved ones. I love their patience regardless of long hours or work overflow. I love the fact they chose one of the most selfless professions to make our lives even better. Not every nurse is a great nurse but I have seen the best and the best personally and professionally.
I believe every nurse should always say to him or herself when they are caring for patients especially, “…I will be the best that I can be to every patient, in the best possible way, to change or make their situation/outcome better regardless of my obligation because, it could be me.” When I see a patient, I talk to God on his/her behalf. I realize that it could be me laying up there with or without any hopes then my heart is full of gratitude especially for my life and health that I am blessed with each day. Truly, it could be me.
Nursing is indeed a skill well sculptured only by the best; the gentle givers of all.
Nurses are Angels here on earth.
Originally written June 8, 2009
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Let's TALK about "LOVE."
Practicing it or not, many do not and many do know and understand the biblical teachings of “LOVE”!!!
I am not talking about romance! What does "LOVE" look like? Do you know it? Do you see it (Not if) but when it comes and when you give it or receive it? What does "LOVE" feel like? Can you touch it and hold on to it?
Now, let's talk about romantic "LOVE!!"
I am not taking about "S..X!!! Do you have a vision of how romantic love is or should be like? Are you with the one that makes your heart pop (Emotionally & physically in sync) or do you have "the" special someone, somewhere (In your heart) that you are fond, like, or love & in love with? Are you living in the kind of "LOVE" you dreamed and hoped for?
Well, we have to talk about “Sex,” it is part of “LOVE” (Romantic or not)!!! It is the name of the game in many arenas.
Sex (Physical and mental attractions of lust) is part of what makes “LOVE” confusing and in chaos. It is what many think about without really thinking. It is toxic in many lives. It is what many think or assume that they need to get ahead for whatever reason. Sex has different basis but, it is without passion. It is all about “Banging, tapping, quickie, hitting" & all that fade away after minutes of a meaningless act.
This, I prefer to “Sex;” “LOVE-making.” It is filled with absolute passion. It is beautiful and fulfilling when it is made with the one your heart does “TANGO” with. Like a breath of fresh air, your heart is home and your face glows afterward still, “LOVE” is where it was before, during, and after “LOVE” is made.
Really, what is "LOVE" to you?
Well, I do know one thing 4sure. “LOVE” does matter. Because life is “LOVE” and God is LIFE. We are meant to compliment "LOVE." Naturally! ~ ND
Saturday, January 15, 2011
In The Mind of A Child...!!!
I was just wondering how it must feel to think, act and be a child!
My 4yr old son comes back from school, drops his Spider Man’s backpack on the foyer, flips his shoes, socks & jacket, and heads to the kitchen then, into the pantry, for a snack. He eats too much of it while watching "Tom & Jerry." I take the McVities Digestive Cookies from him. He cries, runs to the pantry, spreading his arms exhibiting his 1.5 almost 6-pack, spreading his legs to wedge the door. Am thinking he assumes he sees himself as "Tom" trying to outsmart “Jerry.” He sees I am stronger; he grabs my legs & cries for a second. I bend down to look at his adorable face, he holds me & kisses me then says, "Soyee mommy..." Well, the heart of a child, I love; manipulative sometimes yet, so pure.
The temperature is 34 +- degrees F, my almost 8year son decides to walk home each day from the bus stop (3 houses away) without wearing his jacket. He sees me on the front porch and hurriedly trying to put on his jacket. He comes into his warm home and says, "Thank you mommy for keeping the house warm." I scold him and emphasize on the effects for/from not wearing his jacket. He tells me, "But, I am not cold," when it is obvious he is shaking and his fingers as cold as one can imagine. I tell him how the whole of America is COLD this season and my 6yr old jumps into the conversation to ask, "For real, even Obama?" Imagine how amazed she feels to also know that the President of United States is also cold at the same time she is.
My 9 year old little Missy asked me if she could get a dog when she turns 18 years old. I said, "Of course Sweetie. You will be old enough to make that decision." And she said, "But, I want you to tell me. Is it okay mommy?" And, my not-so-cold son asked me if he could" see Lady Gaga" when he is older.
TIPS: When a child refuses to brush his teeth properly, go on to Google to show the child pictures of gingivitis. I do not know about your children, but, it scares my children. It is draining when I have to consistently tell them to be patient while brushing their teeth. For teen-aged kids or young adults, show them photos of damaged organs from smoking and excessive drinking. Sometimes, children know the right thing to do but, they choose the other route of behavior to most times see an adult's reaction. Never be a "nag," make your point/decision and stick to it. Kids remember and follow suit, eventually.
Anyway, during our nightly family prayer, we each take turns to pray and share our thoughts. One evening, it was my 6 year old daughter's turn to pray. We sang then she started to pray: "In the name of the Father... Thank you God for today, for my family, for me, and for making mommy to take care of us. Please make the pimples on mommy’s face to go away. Please make mommy's hair to grow. Thank you for the aunty that did mommy’s hair the other day. Please make me, Nelo, Dumdum & Chima to keep being good and doing well in school. Thank you for my teacher and my friends. Make Dumdum to stop punching me. Make Dumdum to stopping coming into my room. Make Dumdum to stop looking at me when I am eating and make faces so that I will get into trouble..." Before she ended her prayer, Chinedum aka Dumdum jumped in and said, "No, that's a lie. I didn't do all that. Mommy, she is lying." It was not funny at the time because we had to continue praying. It was hilarious listening to her intensely having this conversation with God. Her eyes were closed and she meant every word of it!!! I always end each prayer with, "From your mouth to God's ears, may your prayers be pleasing to God's ears." Dumdum still would say, "When it's my turn, I am going to ask God not to listen to KeleChi." Very interesting, indeed.
While in the Bay area of California, Grandma Vee had a strategy to get my 2+ year old nephew, Nnamdi, to eat his dinner. She would fake crying. He would come to her and say, "Stop crwying granma. I eat." Grandma came to Houston and tried same trick with my 4 year old son who was almost 3 years old at the time. She started to cry, covering her face with her palms. He came closer, pulled her palms away from her face, rubbed his little fingers on her eyes and saw no tear. He gently covered back her face with her palms and walked away. Obviously, I imagine he was thinking, "Grandma, I may be a child but I am no fool.”
Being a parent is tasking but, it is a beautiful task therefore, a blessing. It gets overwhelming sometimes even more for single parents. I always say to parents to remember that “we” are the parents, the responsible/wiser ones. So, create a healthy environment/routine for kids. Routines like having a set time for bedtime, healthy eating habits, distinguishing for daughters, uncles from “uncles,” making childhood memories simply; happy ones and more...
TIP: I remind my kids that mommy is not a machine because machines get exhausted sometimes and will break down if and when not properly maintained. "Mommy needs mommy time just like you have your playtime and stuff."
I ask my kids sometimes, "Do your teachers repeat or teach same topic every single day, so why do you have to make me repeat myself every single day?” Of course, they look at me pretending to be confused, with their eyes wide open worried if going on a "Time-out" is the next action.
In the meantime, every morning, when the alarm goes off, my kids wake up, pray, make their beds (Most times) and start to get ready for school. Every morning, they drag on who is meant to go take a shower first, though it has been decided how it is routinely done every day/week. Every morning, I resolve same issue. So, last night I had a thought, same thought I had the day before and the day before that day. I decided to put this thought to test this morning!!!
I told my kids, “When the alarm goes off, decide on the right thing to do. The bottom-line is to make sure everyone is downstairs, fully dressed and be ready for breakfast at 7:30. It is okay to stay upstairs until the bus comes; your choice. I will stay in my bedroom till 7:30 then I will fix breakfast (Meanwhile, they each order different menus as if they are over at Le Peep's, IHOP or Denny's for breakfast) for whoever that is ready to go to school. But, note that if you miss the bus, you are not going to be a "Car Rider" but, the "Neighborhood Watch" member. I am not taking you to school and you are not staying home either.” I kissed everyone goodnight and went to bed. While doing the dishes, I heard my daughters having a conversation about my conversation or rather, instruction (Or threat) to them. Meanwhile, my four year old son was busy throwing stuffed animals at his brother.
At exactly 7:37 this morning, three of them (Meanwhile, my four year old son was already downstairs in his PJ and of course, in the pantry trying to reach for Hawaiian rolls without permission) came to my bedroom and said, “Good morning mommy. How was your sleep?” They were all fully dressed and ready for school. I gave each of them a big hug and commended them for an excellent effort.
During tonight’s family prayer, my 6 year old daughter added to her prayers with her eyes closed, “Thank you God for making us listen to mommy. She was happy when she saw us in the morning. God, make Dumdum to stop making fun of my hair. Mommy, Dumdum said, my hair is too long and I am tiny…” Then, she started crying. Meanwhile, Dumdum jumped right in to of course, defend himself.
QUESTION: When you pick your nose without using a tissue paper or use the toilet without washing your hands, or when you fight with or hit your spouse in front of the children... what do you think goes on in the mind of a child that sees more than you think he/she sees? TIP: Be a good role model to every child, starting with yourself.
Kids will always be kids. It could be hard sometimes to be not so tolerant when they behave in not so seemingly pleasing ways. They are one of the reasons we struggle, our parents struggled, to achieve our goals and dreams. Create a healthy loving environment for every child no matter what. Give them memories to last them a lifetime so that when they are adults, they will remember and could or maybe would try to emulate the good lessons learned growing up.
One of my simple pleasures is to love from and with all my heart and that, I also teach my kids. I look at every child and I see the reason God decided that the world should go on. Still, I imagine what could be going on in their minds/hearts most of the time. Sometimes, I watch my kids while they sleep. They smile or not. I heard one of them say the other day, "Dumdum, I got it first." Guess who did? Even while sleeping, they worry about childish things while we worry about this and that; what life throws at us or not (Awake or not) but, being thankful while doing it, hopefully.
Remember: In the midst of every child’s toughness, manipulations, calmness, tantrums or whatever a child has in his/her mind/heart, is an absolute love, just like God intended.
My 4yr old son comes back from school, drops his Spider Man’s backpack on the foyer, flips his shoes, socks & jacket, and heads to the kitchen then, into the pantry, for a snack. He eats too much of it while watching "Tom & Jerry." I take the McVities Digestive Cookies from him. He cries, runs to the pantry, spreading his arms exhibiting his 1.5 almost 6-pack, spreading his legs to wedge the door. Am thinking he assumes he sees himself as "Tom" trying to outsmart “Jerry.” He sees I am stronger; he grabs my legs & cries for a second. I bend down to look at his adorable face, he holds me & kisses me then says, "Soyee mommy..." Well, the heart of a child, I love; manipulative sometimes yet, so pure.
The temperature is 34 +- degrees F, my almost 8year son decides to walk home each day from the bus stop (3 houses away) without wearing his jacket. He sees me on the front porch and hurriedly trying to put on his jacket. He comes into his warm home and says, "Thank you mommy for keeping the house warm." I scold him and emphasize on the effects for/from not wearing his jacket. He tells me, "But, I am not cold," when it is obvious he is shaking and his fingers as cold as one can imagine. I tell him how the whole of America is COLD this season and my 6yr old jumps into the conversation to ask, "For real, even Obama?" Imagine how amazed she feels to also know that the President of United States is also cold at the same time she is.
My 9 year old little Missy asked me if she could get a dog when she turns 18 years old. I said, "Of course Sweetie. You will be old enough to make that decision." And she said, "But, I want you to tell me. Is it okay mommy?" And, my not-so-cold son asked me if he could" see Lady Gaga" when he is older.
TIPS: When a child refuses to brush his teeth properly, go on to Google to show the child pictures of gingivitis. I do not know about your children, but, it scares my children. It is draining when I have to consistently tell them to be patient while brushing their teeth. For teen-aged kids or young adults, show them photos of damaged organs from smoking and excessive drinking. Sometimes, children know the right thing to do but, they choose the other route of behavior to most times see an adult's reaction. Never be a "nag," make your point/decision and stick to it. Kids remember and follow suit, eventually.
Anyway, during our nightly family prayer, we each take turns to pray and share our thoughts. One evening, it was my 6 year old daughter's turn to pray. We sang then she started to pray: "In the name of the Father... Thank you God for today, for my family, for me, and for making mommy to take care of us. Please make the pimples on mommy’s face to go away. Please make mommy's hair to grow. Thank you for the aunty that did mommy’s hair the other day. Please make me, Nelo, Dumdum & Chima to keep being good and doing well in school. Thank you for my teacher and my friends. Make Dumdum to stop punching me. Make Dumdum to stopping coming into my room. Make Dumdum to stop looking at me when I am eating and make faces so that I will get into trouble..." Before she ended her prayer, Chinedum aka Dumdum jumped in and said, "No, that's a lie. I didn't do all that. Mommy, she is lying." It was not funny at the time because we had to continue praying. It was hilarious listening to her intensely having this conversation with God. Her eyes were closed and she meant every word of it!!! I always end each prayer with, "From your mouth to God's ears, may your prayers be pleasing to God's ears." Dumdum still would say, "When it's my turn, I am going to ask God not to listen to KeleChi." Very interesting, indeed.
While in the Bay area of California, Grandma Vee had a strategy to get my 2+ year old nephew, Nnamdi, to eat his dinner. She would fake crying. He would come to her and say, "Stop crwying granma. I eat." Grandma came to Houston and tried same trick with my 4 year old son who was almost 3 years old at the time. She started to cry, covering her face with her palms. He came closer, pulled her palms away from her face, rubbed his little fingers on her eyes and saw no tear. He gently covered back her face with her palms and walked away. Obviously, I imagine he was thinking, "Grandma, I may be a child but I am no fool.”
Being a parent is tasking but, it is a beautiful task therefore, a blessing. It gets overwhelming sometimes even more for single parents. I always say to parents to remember that “we” are the parents, the responsible/wiser ones. So, create a healthy environment/routine for kids. Routines like having a set time for bedtime, healthy eating habits, distinguishing for daughters, uncles from “uncles,” making childhood memories simply; happy ones and more...
TIP: I remind my kids that mommy is not a machine because machines get exhausted sometimes and will break down if and when not properly maintained. "Mommy needs mommy time just like you have your playtime and stuff."
I ask my kids sometimes, "Do your teachers repeat or teach same topic every single day, so why do you have to make me repeat myself every single day?” Of course, they look at me pretending to be confused, with their eyes wide open worried if going on a "Time-out" is the next action.
In the meantime, every morning, when the alarm goes off, my kids wake up, pray, make their beds (Most times) and start to get ready for school. Every morning, they drag on who is meant to go take a shower first, though it has been decided how it is routinely done every day/week. Every morning, I resolve same issue. So, last night I had a thought, same thought I had the day before and the day before that day. I decided to put this thought to test this morning!!!
I told my kids, “When the alarm goes off, decide on the right thing to do. The bottom-line is to make sure everyone is downstairs, fully dressed and be ready for breakfast at 7:30. It is okay to stay upstairs until the bus comes; your choice. I will stay in my bedroom till 7:30 then I will fix breakfast (Meanwhile, they each order different menus as if they are over at Le Peep's, IHOP or Denny's for breakfast) for whoever that is ready to go to school. But, note that if you miss the bus, you are not going to be a "Car Rider" but, the "Neighborhood Watch" member. I am not taking you to school and you are not staying home either.” I kissed everyone goodnight and went to bed. While doing the dishes, I heard my daughters having a conversation about my conversation or rather, instruction (Or threat) to them. Meanwhile, my four year old son was busy throwing stuffed animals at his brother.
At exactly 7:37 this morning, three of them (Meanwhile, my four year old son was already downstairs in his PJ and of course, in the pantry trying to reach for Hawaiian rolls without permission) came to my bedroom and said, “Good morning mommy. How was your sleep?” They were all fully dressed and ready for school. I gave each of them a big hug and commended them for an excellent effort.
During tonight’s family prayer, my 6 year old daughter added to her prayers with her eyes closed, “Thank you God for making us listen to mommy. She was happy when she saw us in the morning. God, make Dumdum to stop making fun of my hair. Mommy, Dumdum said, my hair is too long and I am tiny…” Then, she started crying. Meanwhile, Dumdum jumped right in to of course, defend himself.
QUESTION: When you pick your nose without using a tissue paper or use the toilet without washing your hands, or when you fight with or hit your spouse in front of the children... what do you think goes on in the mind of a child that sees more than you think he/she sees? TIP: Be a good role model to every child, starting with yourself.
Kids will always be kids. It could be hard sometimes to be not so tolerant when they behave in not so seemingly pleasing ways. They are one of the reasons we struggle, our parents struggled, to achieve our goals and dreams. Create a healthy loving environment for every child no matter what. Give them memories to last them a lifetime so that when they are adults, they will remember and could or maybe would try to emulate the good lessons learned growing up.
One of my simple pleasures is to love from and with all my heart and that, I also teach my kids. I look at every child and I see the reason God decided that the world should go on. Still, I imagine what could be going on in their minds/hearts most of the time. Sometimes, I watch my kids while they sleep. They smile or not. I heard one of them say the other day, "Dumdum, I got it first." Guess who did? Even while sleeping, they worry about childish things while we worry about this and that; what life throws at us or not (Awake or not) but, being thankful while doing it, hopefully.
Remember: In the midst of every child’s toughness, manipulations, calmness, tantrums or whatever a child has in his/her mind/heart, is an absolute love, just like God intended.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
A Relationship in the Relationship in a Marriage!!! ~ ND
It is really amazing how so many marriages are in chaos. Many couples live as roommates or strangers and some, like cats and dogs!!! Ever pay attention to young children when they "playhouse?" They play loving (Or not) moms and dads, husbands and wives even, teachers and students. Children genuinely show love and affection in this make belief scene or simply reenact their childhood orientations based on the real life exhibits by the adults.
One of the reasons for unhealthy and broken relationships is incompatibility. Different people get into relationships for different reasons. Many marriages and relationships between couples, friends, siblings, neighbors or/and co-workers falter or prosper for different reasons. Many people tend to loose focus on the key issues in their lives, marriages and relationships. They fail to focus on the details of what or who really matters or makes them happy or rather, fulfilled. Also, they blindly or intentionally neglect the roots or triggers of the chaos in their "unfulfilled" and for others, miserable lives!!!
We all know the phrase that "Age is nothing but, a number." It really is!!! Recently, I heard a story about a very "disturbed" 40 something year old female. Sadly, she is a medical doctor. It is really sad because as a Medical Director, one would think she would have had the decorum to behave wisely. Imagine her for a second being your doctor. Multiple personalities are in play here. She is unable to contain herself when she sees gorgeous women in the midst of her husband at work or at private events. It is obvious she is very "insecure, delusional, miserable and definitely has a very low self-esteem." She bragged to her husband's business partners how they could have seen her in "action" humiliating her husband's assumed "lover" during a business luncheon with many partners. They called her "Stupid" and a "fool." Being an MD did not mean she was smart. She was ignorant and maybe, stupid to realize she humiliated her husband instead. I bet many of us must have heard that a mad man or woman is not ashamed he or she is naked or eating from a garbage can because he or she is mentally unstable to know the difference but, the people that know him are the ones clearly embarrassed. Precisely!!!
I am not Dr. Phil but, here is my take on this!!! Men will always be men. Many men wear "infidelity" or the look or approach of, "Oh baby, you look good, can we go kick it?" like Italian suits or some cheap suits made in China bought from Harwin in the Houston area. If this "female doctor"just like many females, felt her husband was having an "affair" with this "other" female, she had no business going after her. Or she could have confronted her in a fashionable way or simply pray for God to fight for her. Yes, prayer works. First: She should have had a one-on-one conversation with herself to determine what could have led to her husband becoming a "stray dog," if he actually committed the act of adultery. Two: Have an honest conversation with her husband if she senses he actually is cheating, without having to raise her voice especially in front of the children (If kids are involved). I know what you are thinking! It is easier said than done. Three: Stay calm and choose not to let any man including her husband, drive her up the wall, to exhibit an act of stupidity especially in a business environment. Four: Decide to forgive her husband and work on her "broken" marriage or forgive him and move on with her life. Five: Focus on herself to make herself a better individual rather than wasting her energy and time on irrelevant tasks towards obsessive behaviors; it takes away from her happiness. Men will always be men!!!
When you are not emotionally in sync with the one you are with, you have nothing to hold on to except, for the physical intimacy (It is overrated) which wears off like a cheap cologne with time. Being emotionally intimate makes love unique and beautiful. The emotional part of intimate love makes the physical part of intimacy to clearly feel and is as subtle as an early morning fresh breeze yet, as sweet as undiluted fresh palm wine. Embrace the one you love or at least, the one you are with in body, mind and spirit!!!
Many men and women are guilty of committing sinful acts. "Man" cheats with his eyes, hands, even in his dreams (Subconsciousness), fantasies (Lustful hopes), thoughts and actions. He hides these (Or sometimes obvious) beautifully. Show me who has never committed one, more or all of these "acts," and many will bow down to him/her. He or she must be "God." It takes the grace of God to resist temptation. Yet, "Man" succumbs to "it" because of its attractiveness and limited rewards, he is sucked into and most times, destroyed.
Many "wives" fail in their roles as "mothers" and "wives." Men too. Marriage is a beautiful union of love that men and women have made marriage look, not very appealing especially for the younger generations. When a woman neglects to take care of herself both inwardly and outwardly, looking unattractive to the seen eyes therefore, a "Turn off," a man feels he has or have been given the license to redirect his focus to a more attractive woman than his "wife," making the "other" woman your husband's part time or could be full-time lover. Though men will always be men, do NOT give your man the reason or the license for you not to be his 80% focus. Put a leash of God on him and on her, through prayers. Give him one reason to stay focused or re focused, regardless of all the beautiful females or the "hunks" in the world and that reason is YOU!
God knew what He was doing when He created Eve for Adam. Make your spouse your best friend. See him/her as part of you. Work on your bad habits rather than focusing on his. Schedule date nights. Go on weekend trips, making it a tradition. Pamper yourself. Pamper your spouse. Make it a habit to look good or "Hot" for you then, for your spouse (Because YOU come first). Marriage is a beautiful union of love. Do NOT make yours a bad example and make another female or male the "Scape goat."
Women (Men) that spend time tailing their husbands (Wives), worrying about what he (She) could be doing or not, scanning through his (Her) phone messages or emails, hopping from one club or party to another, making your homes war zones between slave masters and his slaves, WAKE-UP!!!
Your mindset determines your steps that lead to action. A positive mindset smells like and is SUCCESS.
Before and when your marriage seems to be falling apart, bring God into "it." Do not derail in your steadfastness. Women like this "doctor" need to sit back and regroup themselves. Rather than running 'helter skelter" on a "wild goose chase," focus on the positives in your relationships and allow God to work on the negatives of your spouse.
Men will always be men. But then again, women will always be women. There are a few good men still out there. Sadly, they are entangled with women filled with toxic traits/behaviors. And, a few good women entangled with pigs in dogs skins. Men: Rather than ignoring what you lack as a man or/and lack in your marriage and filling your insatiable appetite elsewhere, make a decision to change yourself instead. Hopefully, almost everything could fall into place in your life and marriage.
Some women are like flowers while some are spiky therefore, tend to be nags like "Cancer in the bone." Some men seemingly are like "Freddie Kruger" inwardly but, with the face of an angel and could lie through their teeth just to get in between the legs of a woman.
The time may never come so make time earlier than tomorrow! Many people in the relationship called "Marriage" neglect to decide to look inwardly to see with the window of their hearts rather than they forget to think clearly; behaving childishly (Without hesitation), they stand the chance of having being with their one "true love" but lost, for reasons very obvious to them but failed to acknowledge. It's your choice. Choose Wisely!!!
"Marriage is meant to be a promise of a lifetime of love."
One of the reasons for unhealthy and broken relationships is incompatibility. Different people get into relationships for different reasons. Many marriages and relationships between couples, friends, siblings, neighbors or/and co-workers falter or prosper for different reasons. Many people tend to loose focus on the key issues in their lives, marriages and relationships. They fail to focus on the details of what or who really matters or makes them happy or rather, fulfilled. Also, they blindly or intentionally neglect the roots or triggers of the chaos in their "unfulfilled" and for others, miserable lives!!!
We all know the phrase that "Age is nothing but, a number." It really is!!! Recently, I heard a story about a very "disturbed" 40 something year old female. Sadly, she is a medical doctor. It is really sad because as a Medical Director, one would think she would have had the decorum to behave wisely. Imagine her for a second being your doctor. Multiple personalities are in play here. She is unable to contain herself when she sees gorgeous women in the midst of her husband at work or at private events. It is obvious she is very "insecure, delusional, miserable and definitely has a very low self-esteem." She bragged to her husband's business partners how they could have seen her in "action" humiliating her husband's assumed "lover" during a business luncheon with many partners. They called her "Stupid" and a "fool." Being an MD did not mean she was smart. She was ignorant and maybe, stupid to realize she humiliated her husband instead. I bet many of us must have heard that a mad man or woman is not ashamed he or she is naked or eating from a garbage can because he or she is mentally unstable to know the difference but, the people that know him are the ones clearly embarrassed. Precisely!!!
I am not Dr. Phil but, here is my take on this!!! Men will always be men. Many men wear "infidelity" or the look or approach of, "Oh baby, you look good, can we go kick it?" like Italian suits or some cheap suits made in China bought from Harwin in the Houston area. If this "female doctor"just like many females, felt her husband was having an "affair" with this "other" female, she had no business going after her. Or she could have confronted her in a fashionable way or simply pray for God to fight for her. Yes, prayer works. First: She should have had a one-on-one conversation with herself to determine what could have led to her husband becoming a "stray dog," if he actually committed the act of adultery. Two: Have an honest conversation with her husband if she senses he actually is cheating, without having to raise her voice especially in front of the children (If kids are involved). I know what you are thinking! It is easier said than done. Three: Stay calm and choose not to let any man including her husband, drive her up the wall, to exhibit an act of stupidity especially in a business environment. Four: Decide to forgive her husband and work on her "broken" marriage or forgive him and move on with her life. Five: Focus on herself to make herself a better individual rather than wasting her energy and time on irrelevant tasks towards obsessive behaviors; it takes away from her happiness. Men will always be men!!!
When you are not emotionally in sync with the one you are with, you have nothing to hold on to except, for the physical intimacy (It is overrated) which wears off like a cheap cologne with time. Being emotionally intimate makes love unique and beautiful. The emotional part of intimate love makes the physical part of intimacy to clearly feel and is as subtle as an early morning fresh breeze yet, as sweet as undiluted fresh palm wine. Embrace the one you love or at least, the one you are with in body, mind and spirit!!!
Many men and women are guilty of committing sinful acts. "Man" cheats with his eyes, hands, even in his dreams (Subconsciousness), fantasies (Lustful hopes), thoughts and actions. He hides these (Or sometimes obvious) beautifully. Show me who has never committed one, more or all of these "acts," and many will bow down to him/her. He or she must be "God." It takes the grace of God to resist temptation. Yet, "Man" succumbs to "it" because of its attractiveness and limited rewards, he is sucked into and most times, destroyed.
Many "wives" fail in their roles as "mothers" and "wives." Men too. Marriage is a beautiful union of love that men and women have made marriage look, not very appealing especially for the younger generations. When a woman neglects to take care of herself both inwardly and outwardly, looking unattractive to the seen eyes therefore, a "Turn off," a man feels he has or have been given the license to redirect his focus to a more attractive woman than his "wife," making the "other" woman your husband's part time or could be full-time lover. Though men will always be men, do NOT give your man the reason or the license for you not to be his 80% focus. Put a leash of God on him and on her, through prayers. Give him one reason to stay focused or re focused, regardless of all the beautiful females or the "hunks" in the world and that reason is YOU!
God knew what He was doing when He created Eve for Adam. Make your spouse your best friend. See him/her as part of you. Work on your bad habits rather than focusing on his. Schedule date nights. Go on weekend trips, making it a tradition. Pamper yourself. Pamper your spouse. Make it a habit to look good or "Hot" for you then, for your spouse (Because YOU come first). Marriage is a beautiful union of love. Do NOT make yours a bad example and make another female or male the "Scape goat."
Women (Men) that spend time tailing their husbands (Wives), worrying about what he (She) could be doing or not, scanning through his (Her) phone messages or emails, hopping from one club or party to another, making your homes war zones between slave masters and his slaves, WAKE-UP!!!
Your mindset determines your steps that lead to action. A positive mindset smells like and is SUCCESS.
Before and when your marriage seems to be falling apart, bring God into "it." Do not derail in your steadfastness. Women like this "doctor" need to sit back and regroup themselves. Rather than running 'helter skelter" on a "wild goose chase," focus on the positives in your relationships and allow God to work on the negatives of your spouse.
Men will always be men. But then again, women will always be women. There are a few good men still out there. Sadly, they are entangled with women filled with toxic traits/behaviors. And, a few good women entangled with pigs in dogs skins. Men: Rather than ignoring what you lack as a man or/and lack in your marriage and filling your insatiable appetite elsewhere, make a decision to change yourself instead. Hopefully, almost everything could fall into place in your life and marriage.
Some women are like flowers while some are spiky therefore, tend to be nags like "Cancer in the bone." Some men seemingly are like "Freddie Kruger" inwardly but, with the face of an angel and could lie through their teeth just to get in between the legs of a woman.
The time may never come so make time earlier than tomorrow! Many people in the relationship called "Marriage" neglect to decide to look inwardly to see with the window of their hearts rather than they forget to think clearly; behaving childishly (Without hesitation), they stand the chance of having being with their one "true love" but lost, for reasons very obvious to them but failed to acknowledge. It's your choice. Choose Wisely!!!
"Marriage is meant to be a promise of a lifetime of love."
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Tranquility
As I was driving on a feeder road, I was enjoying my ride back home; my place of serene. Then, I noticed a fluffy-like brown object sticking out from the back window of a car in front of me. I wondered what it was. I was amazed at what I saw! The movement of this object was remarkable! But, a distraction for me, only for a moment.
So, I moved to the left lane to get a closer look. Then, I saw “it.” “It” seemed so lost in thoughts, I assumed. I started to imagine what “it” could be thinking, enjoying the serenity of the gentle breeze on "its" tiny face. The look on "its" face was very calming.
I could only imagine what “it” could be imagining or feeling. It was obvious “it” was in a fantasy land only “it” can express to its kind. I know I would be sailing too if I was in "its" shoes per se. I know that to be in a serenity atmosphere could be almost like heaven on earth. I know I would only imagine the thoughts of my heart. I know I would meditate! I know it would help one to refocus. It will be an absolute tranquility.
For a moment, I wished I was sailing in the back seat of a car enjoying the gentle breeze on my "skin-cut" hair. I also reminded myself that it is also wise to be in a place of absolute serenity. One can be in a place of chaos yet, find peace from within. All one needs to do is to find that inner peace; an escape then, sail away just like “the cat in the car.” I know I would.
Peace of mind transforms one. Love restores peace. Each day, you should make it a habit to be in a “happy place” regardless of the stumbling blocks, even for a moment. Be in a place (somehow) where you know you will find the peace you need, to regroup... Your heart is the place to start and peace will never be far from you. And, God will never be far because God is the absolute peace!
Nkem A DenChukwu
So, I moved to the left lane to get a closer look. Then, I saw “it.” “It” seemed so lost in thoughts, I assumed. I started to imagine what “it” could be thinking, enjoying the serenity of the gentle breeze on "its" tiny face. The look on "its" face was very calming.
I could only imagine what “it” could be imagining or feeling. It was obvious “it” was in a fantasy land only “it” can express to its kind. I know I would be sailing too if I was in "its" shoes per se. I know that to be in a serenity atmosphere could be almost like heaven on earth. I know I would only imagine the thoughts of my heart. I know I would meditate! I know it would help one to refocus. It will be an absolute tranquility.
For a moment, I wished I was sailing in the back seat of a car enjoying the gentle breeze on my "skin-cut" hair. I also reminded myself that it is also wise to be in a place of absolute serenity. One can be in a place of chaos yet, find peace from within. All one needs to do is to find that inner peace; an escape then, sail away just like “the cat in the car.” I know I would.
Peace of mind transforms one. Love restores peace. Each day, you should make it a habit to be in a “happy place” regardless of the stumbling blocks, even for a moment. Be in a place (somehow) where you know you will find the peace you need, to regroup... Your heart is the place to start and peace will never be far from you. And, God will never be far because God is the absolute peace!
Nkem A DenChukwu
Monday, August 30, 2010
A Rare Treasure.
Friends! Acquaintances! What have you? Or Should I say.... what are you?
Having a million friends is like having yellow corn get stuck in between your teeth ;( If/when you do not get the corn from your teeth, the corn will decay and is detrimental to your health. But, having few true friends are like drinking a cold glass of water in the Summer and hot cocoa in the Winter. They see in you, beyond what others see and still love you. You fight and you make up. Jealousy is a stranger in their hearts. They criticize you, positively. They are there for you through thick and thin; cry and laugh with you. Nothing lasts forever but, true friends are like diamonds; treasures to behold, that will never fade.
Nkem A. DenChukwu
Having a million friends is like having yellow corn get stuck in between your teeth ;( If/when you do not get the corn from your teeth, the corn will decay and is detrimental to your health. But, having few true friends are like drinking a cold glass of water in the Summer and hot cocoa in the Winter. They see in you, beyond what others see and still love you. You fight and you make up. Jealousy is a stranger in their hearts. They criticize you, positively. They are there for you through thick and thin; cry and laugh with you. Nothing lasts forever but, true friends are like diamonds; treasures to behold, that will never fade.
Nkem A. DenChukwu
I See The Sun...
If you took a breathe this morning then, you are indeed blessed. You may be at work, at home, somewhere or heading somewhere. The memories of yesterday cannot be forgotten (good or bad). Today is a brand new day, a gracious gift therefore, live it as it is the best day of your life, just like you would live the rest of your life! Make today's memories a good story book.
Question: How do you plan to live a fulfilled life especially today despite any obstacle? Remember, to live one day at a time is the "rule" of the day.
Nkem A. DenChukwu
Question: How do you plan to live a fulfilled life especially today despite any obstacle? Remember, to live one day at a time is the "rule" of the day.
Nkem A. DenChukwu
Chances Are ~
Like a nightmare, bad memories will creep on you. But then, good memories last a lifetime and your heart is glad. Chances are ~ that in your lifetime, you will experience the storms of life by choice or not, because life’s storms are parts of cosmic arrangements.
Life can be as sweet as undiluted fresh honey and life can also be as sour as an early morning “bad” breath.
Chances are ~ that your heart will be broken. She (he) will sing a lullaby to you from her (his) heart and promise you the heavens and the earth. Chances are ~ that he (she) will “fall” in love with you and you, loving him (her) so graciously. Or chances are ~ that you will “fall” out of love with him (her). Then again, it was not love to begin with!
Because “Love” is never wrong!
If you could turn the hands of the clock and make a wish or two, chances are ~ you would wish for the exact same thing or person you wished for seconds before now. Or, chances are ~ you will not!
Chances are ~ you will make someone else other than you; a priority that you are or meant to be. Chances are ~ you will be (are) in a relationship that has no life in it and you will choose to continue to dwell in it, hopeful. Chances are ~ you may lose the chance to live and make the change that could have been “you“. Or, you will be (are) in a destined fulfilling relationship and chances are ~ you will choose (by choice or not) to derail your destiny for reasons.
Chances are ~ that you are the choices that you make or, not make but, could have made and did not. And chances are ~ that life is sweet and sour at an exact same time.
Nkem A. DenChukwu
Life can be as sweet as undiluted fresh honey and life can also be as sour as an early morning “bad” breath.
Chances are ~ that your heart will be broken. She (he) will sing a lullaby to you from her (his) heart and promise you the heavens and the earth. Chances are ~ that he (she) will “fall” in love with you and you, loving him (her) so graciously. Or chances are ~ that you will “fall” out of love with him (her). Then again, it was not love to begin with!
Because “Love” is never wrong!
If you could turn the hands of the clock and make a wish or two, chances are ~ you would wish for the exact same thing or person you wished for seconds before now. Or, chances are ~ you will not!
Chances are ~ you will make someone else other than you; a priority that you are or meant to be. Chances are ~ you will be (are) in a relationship that has no life in it and you will choose to continue to dwell in it, hopeful. Chances are ~ you may lose the chance to live and make the change that could have been “you“. Or, you will be (are) in a destined fulfilling relationship and chances are ~ you will choose (by choice or not) to derail your destiny for reasons.
Chances are ~ that you are the choices that you make or, not make but, could have made and did not. And chances are ~ that life is sweet and sour at an exact same time.
Nkem A. DenChukwu
Sunday, August 29, 2010
In the Midst...
"Be still and know I am God." Psalm 46:10a
Running “helter-skelter” is the business of the day. It has become a routine in the lives of many. Do you lose sleep? Are you unhappy? Ask yourself "why"? Could your life be better? Ask yourself “how”?
In the midst of your “helter-skelter” life, you forget to breath! You forget to live! You are barely existing because you are letting life determine your steps instead of determining the steps to take in life.
Stop! Take deep breathes. Stop! Even for only a moment to laugh. Laughing can be therapeutic. Make laughter a habit. Stop! And be "thankful" for the blessings you have especially for the gift of life you are blessed with each day. Stop! And say "I love you" to the ones you love and the ones that love you from the heart. Stop! And maybe, you will hear God speak right through your heart, in the midst of your “helter-skelter” life.
~ Nkem DenChukwu
Running “helter-skelter” is the business of the day. It has become a routine in the lives of many. Do you lose sleep? Are you unhappy? Ask yourself "why"? Could your life be better? Ask yourself “how”?
In the midst of your “helter-skelter” life, you forget to breath! You forget to live! You are barely existing because you are letting life determine your steps instead of determining the steps to take in life.
Stop! Take deep breathes. Stop! Even for only a moment to laugh. Laughing can be therapeutic. Make laughter a habit. Stop! And be "thankful" for the blessings you have especially for the gift of life you are blessed with each day. Stop! And say "I love you" to the ones you love and the ones that love you from the heart. Stop! And maybe, you will hear God speak right through your heart, in the midst of your “helter-skelter” life.
~ Nkem DenChukwu
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