Thursday, December 8, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
September 11: A Day Not Forgotten
We remember every now and then; September 11. We sigh. Tears are not far from many eyes.
Today especially, we reminisce even more....
How many innocents lives were lost;
Many hearts were broken,
And many nations stood still.
However, their souls were not lost on this day;
The angels were right there, in their last unexpected moments.
Therefore, their souls are neither lost nor forgotten.
We must not focus on how they died per se,
But the lives they lived;
The differences they made;
They love they gave;
And, the good they did while here.
We must also remember that things happen for reasons.
We should not have to wonder if God was aware of this evil act before it happened.
And, He was, always.
He is God.
We must not keep asking why, and why!!!
Let each of us remember today.
Therefore, remember each day...
Knowing that we are not guaranteed the next moment.
So...appreciate and love yourself;
This way, you will love and appreciate others.
Never focus on the miseries of life itself.
Or live in fear.
We are given the best gift each day;
The gift of life.
We should smile and look on God.
For He is Hope and Life.
May the souls of the faithfully departed, RIP.
Premature death; be not our portion.
May we each live life to the fullest just as God intended for us.
Today especially, we reminisce even more....
How many innocents lives were lost;
Many hearts were broken,
And many nations stood still.
However, their souls were not lost on this day;
The angels were right there, in their last unexpected moments.
Therefore, their souls are neither lost nor forgotten.
We must not focus on how they died per se,
But the lives they lived;
The differences they made;
They love they gave;
And, the good they did while here.
We must also remember that things happen for reasons.
We should not have to wonder if God was aware of this evil act before it happened.
And, He was, always.
He is God.
We must not keep asking why, and why!!!
Let each of us remember today.
Therefore, remember each day...
Knowing that we are not guaranteed the next moment.
So...appreciate and love yourself;
This way, you will love and appreciate others.
Never focus on the miseries of life itself.
Or live in fear.
We are given the best gift each day;
The gift of life.
We should smile and look on God.
For He is Hope and Life.
May the souls of the faithfully departed, RIP.
Premature death; be not our portion.
May we each live life to the fullest just as God intended for us.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
The Language of my Mother
I remember a few weeks ago while on board back to Houston, one of the passengers heard me talking with another passenger. He starred at me for a while and finally said to me:
"Hello young lady. How're you doing? Where are you from? I can hear an accent. I like the way you speak."
"Thank you. Yes, I do have an accent just like you do. I am from Nigeria. I am Ibo."
"I have an accent?"
"Yes Sir, you do. You are American so, you have an accent. I am African, I have an accent."
He paused for a second then said:
"Hmmm, you are right. We all have an accent."
He introduced himself. When I told him my name, he said;
"Oh, my granddaughter's name is Kem too; short for Kimberley." Ifukwanum eshishi. How did I go from Nkemdilim to Kimberely? LOL. We had an interesting conversation. I learned a thing or two from him.
When I speak in my native tongue; The Igbo Language, I LOVE IT & I am PROUD. I speak it to my kids, sometimes they understand it and most times, sadly they do not. My kids are definitely aware of the fact that they are Ibos, and not just because of the food they eat. They know the language I speak, but not literally sha. I am of the millions of parents guilty of not being consistent with communicating with their children in their Mother Tongue. Now, I am on a mission.
It is interesting how my kids are able to sing gospel songs in the Igbo language. They know the songs are worship songs, yet the meanings they do not comprehend completely.
Well...
This summer, I decided we go back to the basics. I started to teach them: a, b ch, d, e, f g, gb, gw....; One = Otu; The parts of the body and more. The first day was HARD for them especially my older children. Chima aka Igwe who is 4 years old was able to pronounce every word like I would. The fact here is the age differences. Kids tend to assimilate languages faster at a young age. However, it does not mean that the older kids cannot learn as fast. It was also interesting how they are becoming aware when and where to put the dots under letters like: o & u...the difference between 'Ukwu;' Waist and ' Ụkwụ;' Leg. I know how hard it can be though I was nurtured in Igbo. However, when you put your mind to what you want to achieve, sky is the limit.
Anyway, each day, I give them Igbo homework. I also have a reward for not just the effort, but for when they fully understand what they are learning. So far, it has been awesome. It is getting so exciting for them especially my first three.
Though they were born, raised in the States and have not yet been to Nigeria, they know where they are originally from. They understand and appreciate the meanings of their names and who they are.
I remember in the early spring, my 8yr old son came back from school feeling not so good, because of an incident that had happened at school. His friend had made fun of his name; Chinedu. He was feeling bad because he forgot the meaning of his name. So...I reminded him. When he came home the next day, he said;
"Mommy, I told my friend what my name means, Chinedum means: God guides me. Then I asked him the meaning of his name. He did not know and he also said his parents have no clue. Thanks mom."
Just like many Nigerian kids home and abroad, they are aliens to their native language. Many parents are proud when they say: 'My kids understand my language, but they cannot speak it.' How about the kids born and raised in Nigeria, yet they do not speak in their native tongues because mom and dad want them to speak and be like the oyibo? Oyibo nwanu ekwero ha osusu. However, the Asians, Hispanics & even the Indians make the English Language their second language instead. They are proud of their native tongue.
Uhhhh... How about this? 'My parents are Nigerians. I am American.' This is classic. Who is to be blamed?
Anyway, when it is noisy in my home, I tell my kids to speak in their mother tongue. And, all of a sudden, the house is quiet. Not funny, but it works. Then, they make every effort to communicate with me in the language. If they are not sure how to say it in Igbo, they ask for permission to say it English, for me to translate it to them. Today, they wanted to know what's for breakfast in Igbo. I said, "Fresh croissants and akwa." The next question was: "What are croissants in Igbo?" Anyone??? HELP!!! LOL
This morning, my 6 year old daughter was practicing ONE, TWO, THREE...in the Igbo language. When she pronounced the numbers, some of the numbers in Igbo were sounding more oyibo than Ibo. My 9 year old said to her;
"KeleChi, it is like a rubberband, so you stretch it. Each word has a tone. Remember that word "Akwa? It has several meanings because of the different tones." I am glad and proud that they are beginning to understand that my language; their language is a tonal language therefore, unique. It has a ring to it. It is musical.
The bottom-lines:
· It does not matter where you were born or where you live, teach your kids your native tongue (If you know it).
· If your spouse is non-Ibo, it does not matter, teach your children your native tongue (If you know it) and if you do not know it, learn it together.
· No matter how much you try to be more like the oyibo, you are who you were the day you were born and not who you are trying or hope to be.
· Some of us yearn to learn other languages like French, Spanish, Chinese....but NOT our native tongue. Now, that's a shame.
· Even if your parents made the mistake of not teaching you, do not make same mistake.
· When you teach your kids, they teach their kids and this cycle continues.
· No matter what, CULTURE MATTERS.
· Be proud of who you are and not who you are trying to be.
Oh, in the last few days, when my kids see me in the morning they say:
"Good morning Mommy. Ilarukwa ofuma?" Now, that's a start.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Love: The Language of the Heart ~ Nkem DenChukwu
Originally written: July 11, 1996
The kind of season that sets a familiar tone for an indescribable yet, amazing unique pathway to one's destiny, is the season of love. Every season is meant to be the season of love...
The air is crisp. And the flowers seem to be doing a slow dance. She hears rhythms of a song but, it is only the birds tweeting. In a bit, there is a sudden calmness. The mood is simply magical. In the midst of this tranquility, she giggles like a child being tickled. She can only imagine all that her heart has come to know!
All of a sudden, only she could feel the calmness in the crowded room. She feels his eyes gazing at her. She turns to see and, he is not in the crowd. She knows his aura is not distant from her. She is not hallucinating. Her heart knows better. Then, a subtle voice says to her; “Hello!” There is a breath of fresh air and sunshine in his being. “Would you like to dance?” He asks. Her feet could barely carry her but somehow, they are on the dance floor.
He gently moves her body towards his and holds her so very close. They dance to a slow song. He smells sweet yet, very manly. His voice is warm & tender; the kind of voice that radiates one’s heart like a gentle breeze. He looks at her, and she knows he could only see her. In that very moment just like almost always, her heart does a break dance.
The music stops but their feet are still moving. Again, he looks at her as if they just met. He holds her as if tomorrow would not come but, with a gentle grip. He leans towards her. And whispers the three most beautiful yet familiar words; words he says to her moments before now. Then he says, “I love you.”
Her heart could only feel what it has always known. She knows that nature has given her one of her rare gifts of a lifetime; her one true love. She stops dancing for a moment. His arms are still wrapped around her, lovingly. She looks at him just like his heart looks at her. She gently lifts up his face and kisses him the way he would love her to. Seeing him looking at her, she knows he only could see her. Then, she says; “I love you more.”This time, his lips completely embraces hers. They are where they need to be; in each other's arms. They are home in each other's heart; home at last.
Ask yourself: Is my heart in sync with the one I love, the one that I am with or hope to be with? Love is never on a one-way street.
Fact: Loving another is by grace. Knowing that the one you love, loves you the same, is by grace therefore, a rare treasure. Love is the greatest gift. Love from your heart, with all your heart & let your love not be seasonal.
The kind of season that sets a familiar tone for an indescribable yet, amazing unique pathway to one's destiny, is the season of love. Every season is meant to be the season of love...
The air is crisp. And the flowers seem to be doing a slow dance. She hears rhythms of a song but, it is only the birds tweeting. In a bit, there is a sudden calmness. The mood is simply magical. In the midst of this tranquility, she giggles like a child being tickled. She can only imagine all that her heart has come to know!
All of a sudden, only she could feel the calmness in the crowded room. She feels his eyes gazing at her. She turns to see and, he is not in the crowd. She knows his aura is not distant from her. She is not hallucinating. Her heart knows better. Then, a subtle voice says to her; “Hello!” There is a breath of fresh air and sunshine in his being. “Would you like to dance?” He asks. Her feet could barely carry her but somehow, they are on the dance floor.
He gently moves her body towards his and holds her so very close. They dance to a slow song. He smells sweet yet, very manly. His voice is warm & tender; the kind of voice that radiates one’s heart like a gentle breeze. He looks at her, and she knows he could only see her. In that very moment just like almost always, her heart does a break dance.
The music stops but their feet are still moving. Again, he looks at her as if they just met. He holds her as if tomorrow would not come but, with a gentle grip. He leans towards her. And whispers the three most beautiful yet familiar words; words he says to her moments before now. Then he says, “I love you.”
Her heart could only feel what it has always known. She knows that nature has given her one of her rare gifts of a lifetime; her one true love. She stops dancing for a moment. His arms are still wrapped around her, lovingly. She looks at him just like his heart looks at her. She gently lifts up his face and kisses him the way he would love her to. Seeing him looking at her, she knows he only could see her. Then, she says; “I love you more.”This time, his lips completely embraces hers. They are where they need to be; in each other's arms. They are home in each other's heart; home at last.
Ask yourself: Is my heart in sync with the one I love, the one that I am with or hope to be with? Love is never on a one-way street.
Fact: Loving another is by grace. Knowing that the one you love, loves you the same, is by grace therefore, a rare treasure. Love is the greatest gift. Love from your heart, with all your heart & let your love not be seasonal.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Your Familiar Stranger!!!
For many, life on earth is or could be as sweet as the sound of heaven. And for many, as sour as they did not bargain for but, live hopeful with joyful hearts or wear the miseries of life like garments...
A peace of mind is joy in the heart. The sound and feel of love in one's life is a dream come true for some or many, just like he or she hoped and envisioned. If the heart had a voice, heaven will echo as many times as the heart beats.
What could be greater to know than to experience love in its fullness? Yet, many claim to live in love when they live in misery and die in silence, literally! Behind every smile and/or every tear, lies the truth in the heart.
The storms of life can change situations and people, to certain extent. Nevertheless, people don't change with the season, for reasons. They are who they are. Either, certain behaviors or traits are hidden or that the eyes are clouded or simply, that many choose to be ignorant of the "red flags" on sugar-coated yet, toxic characters. Six feet under, the victims never envisioned!!
Many couples are just legally married or joined by the "common law." That is all. Many married couples co-exist, have casual sex and call it "marriage" while simultaneously having sex with "A" or "C" or with "B" & "J". Many couples have no relationship with each other. They see each other but, are blind. They hear each other still, they are deaf. Men have better relationships with their "buddies" and women have awesome time with the "girls." Your spouse becomes what? Take your pick from the list of your thoughts.
When a man hits a woman; it is not an accident. WATCH OUT. When a man is verbally ABUSIVE, pay attention to details.When a man threatens his wife, be ALARMED and not ignorant. When you sleep with the enemy, what do you think could happen? What could go wrong? With the choices you make or not make, life has a way or rather, ways to tumble God's plans and lead you to an unplanned destination.
The choices we make deter or lead us to a place. To have a peace of mind is to know that your spirit is home. And again, that is joy. Many women (Men too) in abusive relationships are in the battlefield of the mind. They lack the vision to see and the knowledge to know the depth of their own strength until, they decide to take the first step to the road of being cage-free.
Take time to think about or google how many women in your community that have been MURDERED or brutally injured by their husbands.
Homes, though may be hit by the storm; it can and should be built on foundation of wisdom and love. Instead, many homes are built on deceit, greed, fear, lack of mutual love and more. Because the foundation is weakened by these flaws, they are destroyed by the very contractors that built them. They are forever destroyed when men decide to take the lives of their wives by remodeling their homes with bloodshed. Or when a woman (And a man too) makes the choice of having multiple personalities of playing a wife at home, a lover at the motel or...
My mind is just wandering... & I wonder how many people live in misery, hopeful for some miracle in their relationships and lives. I do believe in miracles. I also believe in asking God for guidance and wisdom to know the difference between "black and white." A man sits, thinks, decides and acts on taking a detour on God's plan!!! In a bit, anger, jealousy or his thought overwhelms him and he takes the life of the woman he shares his life and dreams with, for reasons in a season.
For a second, imagine digging a hole to trap your prey then suddenly, you see yourself into the hole, mysteriously!!! God has not given us the power and the spirit to take another life.
Your familiar stranger becomes your greatest enemy. The difference is that; YOU are become another story in the picture.
Today's marriage is a joke! How can our children; the younger generation believe in the union of love when "husbands" physically hurt their supposedly wives, and wives play outside of their legally assigned fields? It is my, your and our decision to be wise and help change the notion that "Marriage is life imprisonment and a death row." We need to make love what it is meant to be; the greatest gift of all.
A peace of mind is joy in the heart. The sound and feel of love in one's life is a dream come true for some or many, just like he or she hoped and envisioned. If the heart had a voice, heaven will echo as many times as the heart beats.
What could be greater to know than to experience love in its fullness? Yet, many claim to live in love when they live in misery and die in silence, literally! Behind every smile and/or every tear, lies the truth in the heart.
The storms of life can change situations and people, to certain extent. Nevertheless, people don't change with the season, for reasons. They are who they are. Either, certain behaviors or traits are hidden or that the eyes are clouded or simply, that many choose to be ignorant of the "red flags" on sugar-coated yet, toxic characters. Six feet under, the victims never envisioned!!
Many couples are just legally married or joined by the "common law." That is all. Many married couples co-exist, have casual sex and call it "marriage" while simultaneously having sex with "A" or "C" or with "B" & "J". Many couples have no relationship with each other. They see each other but, are blind. They hear each other still, they are deaf. Men have better relationships with their "buddies" and women have awesome time with the "girls." Your spouse becomes what? Take your pick from the list of your thoughts.
When a man hits a woman; it is not an accident. WATCH OUT. When a man is verbally ABUSIVE, pay attention to details.When a man threatens his wife, be ALARMED and not ignorant. When you sleep with the enemy, what do you think could happen? What could go wrong? With the choices you make or not make, life has a way or rather, ways to tumble God's plans and lead you to an unplanned destination.
The choices we make deter or lead us to a place. To have a peace of mind is to know that your spirit is home. And again, that is joy. Many women (Men too) in abusive relationships are in the battlefield of the mind. They lack the vision to see and the knowledge to know the depth of their own strength until, they decide to take the first step to the road of being cage-free.
Take time to think about or google how many women in your community that have been MURDERED or brutally injured by their husbands.
Homes, though may be hit by the storm; it can and should be built on foundation of wisdom and love. Instead, many homes are built on deceit, greed, fear, lack of mutual love and more. Because the foundation is weakened by these flaws, they are destroyed by the very contractors that built them. They are forever destroyed when men decide to take the lives of their wives by remodeling their homes with bloodshed. Or when a woman (And a man too) makes the choice of having multiple personalities of playing a wife at home, a lover at the motel or...
My mind is just wandering... & I wonder how many people live in misery, hopeful for some miracle in their relationships and lives. I do believe in miracles. I also believe in asking God for guidance and wisdom to know the difference between "black and white." A man sits, thinks, decides and acts on taking a detour on God's plan!!! In a bit, anger, jealousy or his thought overwhelms him and he takes the life of the woman he shares his life and dreams with, for reasons in a season.
For a second, imagine digging a hole to trap your prey then suddenly, you see yourself into the hole, mysteriously!!! God has not given us the power and the spirit to take another life.
Your familiar stranger becomes your greatest enemy. The difference is that; YOU are become another story in the picture.
Today's marriage is a joke! How can our children; the younger generation believe in the union of love when "husbands" physically hurt their supposedly wives, and wives play outside of their legally assigned fields? It is my, your and our decision to be wise and help change the notion that "Marriage is life imprisonment and a death row." We need to make love what it is meant to be; the greatest gift of all.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sweet & Sour: The Journey of Life
Life is the reason that you should have hope. The storms of life can weigh you down if/when you allow them to. It can be hard sometimes even, most times still, dwelling in the misery of the things you have absolute no control of, can and will only do one thing... It will take away your joy. So, make the choice to not let it.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
It Could Be Me!
Caring for another individual is beautiful. It is a sacrifice. It is a gift. Not everyone has the grace to care for another, especially the sick, the disabled, needy or anyone for that matter. Caring for another individual is more than work per se, it is an innate trait. It is a blessing to be able to have the opportunity to do so. True, we cannot change the direction of the wind but we sure can adjust the sail.
Different individuals choose Medical profession especially “Nursing” profession for different reasons. Reasons like job stability, money-making profession that one can acquire zillion over time hours but most importantly, to care for those who need the help of medical science and all its providers to be healthy and have a better prolonged life.
I have always believed that it is a good thing to always be good to everyone we meet because our situation could change in a heartbeat and our life could depend on another individual. If or when it does, I always pray for God to also give me a caring nurse during my time of need in a healthcare facility. For many years, I have researched to understand the basis people choose this great but tasking profession. I have come to understand that when you are a selfless individual that have an unconditional love for another regardless of the reason for the “chosen” profession, the best part of you will set in when the time comes.
As a HealthCare Administrative Intern, I came to appreciate “Nursing” even better, after having seen nurses at work, at the Texas Medical Center. Nursing profession requires a lot of patience, care, devotion, trust, time, selflessness, but most of all, the spirit of God to be able to render such a generous service.
There is saying that goes like, “When one is mourning for the dead, he is also mourning for himself.” I believe this to be true. Things can go wrong in our lives at anytime regardless. In the healthcare industry, there could be medication error, equipment malfunction, medical record misplacement, wrong patient data, job burnout… you name it. No one is beyond mistakes but, certain mistakes can be avoided in a lot of ways especially when we, as individuals do our part, most effectively.
I observed dedicated nurses at this hospital, an outstanding healthcare organization and I admire them. I love their enthusiasm. I love their devotion. I also observe the way they care for these patients as if they are caring for themselves or loved ones. I love their patience regardless of long hours or work overflow. I love the fact they chose one of the most selfless professions to make our lives even better. Not every nurse is a great nurse but I have seen the best and the best personally and professionally.
I believe every nurse should always say to him or herself when they are caring for patients especially, “…I will be the best that I can be to every patient, in the best possible way, to change or make their situation/outcome better regardless of my obligation because, it could be me.” When I see a patient, I talk to God on his/her behalf. I realize that it could be me laying up there with or without any hopes then my heart is full of gratitude especially for my life and health that I am blessed with each day. Truly, it could be me.
Nursing is indeed a skill well sculptured only by the best; the gentle givers of all.
Nurses are Angels here on earth.
Originally written June 8, 2009
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Let's TALK about "LOVE."
Practicing it or not, many do not and many do know and understand the biblical teachings of “LOVE”!!!
I am not talking about romance! What does "LOVE" look like? Do you know it? Do you see it (Not if) but when it comes and when you give it or receive it? What does "LOVE" feel like? Can you touch it and hold on to it?
Now, let's talk about romantic "LOVE!!"
I am not taking about "S..X!!! Do you have a vision of how romantic love is or should be like? Are you with the one that makes your heart pop (Emotionally & physically in sync) or do you have "the" special someone, somewhere (In your heart) that you are fond, like, or love & in love with? Are you living in the kind of "LOVE" you dreamed and hoped for?
Well, we have to talk about “Sex,” it is part of “LOVE” (Romantic or not)!!! It is the name of the game in many arenas.
Sex (Physical and mental attractions of lust) is part of what makes “LOVE” confusing and in chaos. It is what many think about without really thinking. It is toxic in many lives. It is what many think or assume that they need to get ahead for whatever reason. Sex has different basis but, it is without passion. It is all about “Banging, tapping, quickie, hitting" & all that fade away after minutes of a meaningless act.
This, I prefer to “Sex;” “LOVE-making.” It is filled with absolute passion. It is beautiful and fulfilling when it is made with the one your heart does “TANGO” with. Like a breath of fresh air, your heart is home and your face glows afterward still, “LOVE” is where it was before, during, and after “LOVE” is made.
Really, what is "LOVE" to you?
Well, I do know one thing 4sure. “LOVE” does matter. Because life is “LOVE” and God is LIFE. We are meant to compliment "LOVE." Naturally! ~ ND
Saturday, January 15, 2011
In The Mind of A Child...!!!
I was just wondering how it must feel to think, act and be a child!
My 4yr old son comes back from school, drops his Spider Man’s backpack on the foyer, flips his shoes, socks & jacket, and heads to the kitchen then, into the pantry, for a snack. He eats too much of it while watching "Tom & Jerry." I take the McVities Digestive Cookies from him. He cries, runs to the pantry, spreading his arms exhibiting his 1.5 almost 6-pack, spreading his legs to wedge the door. Am thinking he assumes he sees himself as "Tom" trying to outsmart “Jerry.” He sees I am stronger; he grabs my legs & cries for a second. I bend down to look at his adorable face, he holds me & kisses me then says, "Soyee mommy..." Well, the heart of a child, I love; manipulative sometimes yet, so pure.
The temperature is 34 +- degrees F, my almost 8year son decides to walk home each day from the bus stop (3 houses away) without wearing his jacket. He sees me on the front porch and hurriedly trying to put on his jacket. He comes into his warm home and says, "Thank you mommy for keeping the house warm." I scold him and emphasize on the effects for/from not wearing his jacket. He tells me, "But, I am not cold," when it is obvious he is shaking and his fingers as cold as one can imagine. I tell him how the whole of America is COLD this season and my 6yr old jumps into the conversation to ask, "For real, even Obama?" Imagine how amazed she feels to also know that the President of United States is also cold at the same time she is.
My 9 year old little Missy asked me if she could get a dog when she turns 18 years old. I said, "Of course Sweetie. You will be old enough to make that decision." And she said, "But, I want you to tell me. Is it okay mommy?" And, my not-so-cold son asked me if he could" see Lady Gaga" when he is older.
TIPS: When a child refuses to brush his teeth properly, go on to Google to show the child pictures of gingivitis. I do not know about your children, but, it scares my children. It is draining when I have to consistently tell them to be patient while brushing their teeth. For teen-aged kids or young adults, show them photos of damaged organs from smoking and excessive drinking. Sometimes, children know the right thing to do but, they choose the other route of behavior to most times see an adult's reaction. Never be a "nag," make your point/decision and stick to it. Kids remember and follow suit, eventually.
Anyway, during our nightly family prayer, we each take turns to pray and share our thoughts. One evening, it was my 6 year old daughter's turn to pray. We sang then she started to pray: "In the name of the Father... Thank you God for today, for my family, for me, and for making mommy to take care of us. Please make the pimples on mommy’s face to go away. Please make mommy's hair to grow. Thank you for the aunty that did mommy’s hair the other day. Please make me, Nelo, Dumdum & Chima to keep being good and doing well in school. Thank you for my teacher and my friends. Make Dumdum to stop punching me. Make Dumdum to stopping coming into my room. Make Dumdum to stop looking at me when I am eating and make faces so that I will get into trouble..." Before she ended her prayer, Chinedum aka Dumdum jumped in and said, "No, that's a lie. I didn't do all that. Mommy, she is lying." It was not funny at the time because we had to continue praying. It was hilarious listening to her intensely having this conversation with God. Her eyes were closed and she meant every word of it!!! I always end each prayer with, "From your mouth to God's ears, may your prayers be pleasing to God's ears." Dumdum still would say, "When it's my turn, I am going to ask God not to listen to KeleChi." Very interesting, indeed.
While in the Bay area of California, Grandma Vee had a strategy to get my 2+ year old nephew, Nnamdi, to eat his dinner. She would fake crying. He would come to her and say, "Stop crwying granma. I eat." Grandma came to Houston and tried same trick with my 4 year old son who was almost 3 years old at the time. She started to cry, covering her face with her palms. He came closer, pulled her palms away from her face, rubbed his little fingers on her eyes and saw no tear. He gently covered back her face with her palms and walked away. Obviously, I imagine he was thinking, "Grandma, I may be a child but I am no fool.”
Being a parent is tasking but, it is a beautiful task therefore, a blessing. It gets overwhelming sometimes even more for single parents. I always say to parents to remember that “we” are the parents, the responsible/wiser ones. So, create a healthy environment/routine for kids. Routines like having a set time for bedtime, healthy eating habits, distinguishing for daughters, uncles from “uncles,” making childhood memories simply; happy ones and more...
TIP: I remind my kids that mommy is not a machine because machines get exhausted sometimes and will break down if and when not properly maintained. "Mommy needs mommy time just like you have your playtime and stuff."
I ask my kids sometimes, "Do your teachers repeat or teach same topic every single day, so why do you have to make me repeat myself every single day?” Of course, they look at me pretending to be confused, with their eyes wide open worried if going on a "Time-out" is the next action.
In the meantime, every morning, when the alarm goes off, my kids wake up, pray, make their beds (Most times) and start to get ready for school. Every morning, they drag on who is meant to go take a shower first, though it has been decided how it is routinely done every day/week. Every morning, I resolve same issue. So, last night I had a thought, same thought I had the day before and the day before that day. I decided to put this thought to test this morning!!!
I told my kids, “When the alarm goes off, decide on the right thing to do. The bottom-line is to make sure everyone is downstairs, fully dressed and be ready for breakfast at 7:30. It is okay to stay upstairs until the bus comes; your choice. I will stay in my bedroom till 7:30 then I will fix breakfast (Meanwhile, they each order different menus as if they are over at Le Peep's, IHOP or Denny's for breakfast) for whoever that is ready to go to school. But, note that if you miss the bus, you are not going to be a "Car Rider" but, the "Neighborhood Watch" member. I am not taking you to school and you are not staying home either.” I kissed everyone goodnight and went to bed. While doing the dishes, I heard my daughters having a conversation about my conversation or rather, instruction (Or threat) to them. Meanwhile, my four year old son was busy throwing stuffed animals at his brother.
At exactly 7:37 this morning, three of them (Meanwhile, my four year old son was already downstairs in his PJ and of course, in the pantry trying to reach for Hawaiian rolls without permission) came to my bedroom and said, “Good morning mommy. How was your sleep?” They were all fully dressed and ready for school. I gave each of them a big hug and commended them for an excellent effort.
During tonight’s family prayer, my 6 year old daughter added to her prayers with her eyes closed, “Thank you God for making us listen to mommy. She was happy when she saw us in the morning. God, make Dumdum to stop making fun of my hair. Mommy, Dumdum said, my hair is too long and I am tiny…” Then, she started crying. Meanwhile, Dumdum jumped right in to of course, defend himself.
QUESTION: When you pick your nose without using a tissue paper or use the toilet without washing your hands, or when you fight with or hit your spouse in front of the children... what do you think goes on in the mind of a child that sees more than you think he/she sees? TIP: Be a good role model to every child, starting with yourself.
Kids will always be kids. It could be hard sometimes to be not so tolerant when they behave in not so seemingly pleasing ways. They are one of the reasons we struggle, our parents struggled, to achieve our goals and dreams. Create a healthy loving environment for every child no matter what. Give them memories to last them a lifetime so that when they are adults, they will remember and could or maybe would try to emulate the good lessons learned growing up.
One of my simple pleasures is to love from and with all my heart and that, I also teach my kids. I look at every child and I see the reason God decided that the world should go on. Still, I imagine what could be going on in their minds/hearts most of the time. Sometimes, I watch my kids while they sleep. They smile or not. I heard one of them say the other day, "Dumdum, I got it first." Guess who did? Even while sleeping, they worry about childish things while we worry about this and that; what life throws at us or not (Awake or not) but, being thankful while doing it, hopefully.
Remember: In the midst of every child’s toughness, manipulations, calmness, tantrums or whatever a child has in his/her mind/heart, is an absolute love, just like God intended.
My 4yr old son comes back from school, drops his Spider Man’s backpack on the foyer, flips his shoes, socks & jacket, and heads to the kitchen then, into the pantry, for a snack. He eats too much of it while watching "Tom & Jerry." I take the McVities Digestive Cookies from him. He cries, runs to the pantry, spreading his arms exhibiting his 1.5 almost 6-pack, spreading his legs to wedge the door. Am thinking he assumes he sees himself as "Tom" trying to outsmart “Jerry.” He sees I am stronger; he grabs my legs & cries for a second. I bend down to look at his adorable face, he holds me & kisses me then says, "Soyee mommy..." Well, the heart of a child, I love; manipulative sometimes yet, so pure.
The temperature is 34 +- degrees F, my almost 8year son decides to walk home each day from the bus stop (3 houses away) without wearing his jacket. He sees me on the front porch and hurriedly trying to put on his jacket. He comes into his warm home and says, "Thank you mommy for keeping the house warm." I scold him and emphasize on the effects for/from not wearing his jacket. He tells me, "But, I am not cold," when it is obvious he is shaking and his fingers as cold as one can imagine. I tell him how the whole of America is COLD this season and my 6yr old jumps into the conversation to ask, "For real, even Obama?" Imagine how amazed she feels to also know that the President of United States is also cold at the same time she is.
My 9 year old little Missy asked me if she could get a dog when she turns 18 years old. I said, "Of course Sweetie. You will be old enough to make that decision." And she said, "But, I want you to tell me. Is it okay mommy?" And, my not-so-cold son asked me if he could" see Lady Gaga" when he is older.
TIPS: When a child refuses to brush his teeth properly, go on to Google to show the child pictures of gingivitis. I do not know about your children, but, it scares my children. It is draining when I have to consistently tell them to be patient while brushing their teeth. For teen-aged kids or young adults, show them photos of damaged organs from smoking and excessive drinking. Sometimes, children know the right thing to do but, they choose the other route of behavior to most times see an adult's reaction. Never be a "nag," make your point/decision and stick to it. Kids remember and follow suit, eventually.
Anyway, during our nightly family prayer, we each take turns to pray and share our thoughts. One evening, it was my 6 year old daughter's turn to pray. We sang then she started to pray: "In the name of the Father... Thank you God for today, for my family, for me, and for making mommy to take care of us. Please make the pimples on mommy’s face to go away. Please make mommy's hair to grow. Thank you for the aunty that did mommy’s hair the other day. Please make me, Nelo, Dumdum & Chima to keep being good and doing well in school. Thank you for my teacher and my friends. Make Dumdum to stop punching me. Make Dumdum to stopping coming into my room. Make Dumdum to stop looking at me when I am eating and make faces so that I will get into trouble..." Before she ended her prayer, Chinedum aka Dumdum jumped in and said, "No, that's a lie. I didn't do all that. Mommy, she is lying." It was not funny at the time because we had to continue praying. It was hilarious listening to her intensely having this conversation with God. Her eyes were closed and she meant every word of it!!! I always end each prayer with, "From your mouth to God's ears, may your prayers be pleasing to God's ears." Dumdum still would say, "When it's my turn, I am going to ask God not to listen to KeleChi." Very interesting, indeed.
While in the Bay area of California, Grandma Vee had a strategy to get my 2+ year old nephew, Nnamdi, to eat his dinner. She would fake crying. He would come to her and say, "Stop crwying granma. I eat." Grandma came to Houston and tried same trick with my 4 year old son who was almost 3 years old at the time. She started to cry, covering her face with her palms. He came closer, pulled her palms away from her face, rubbed his little fingers on her eyes and saw no tear. He gently covered back her face with her palms and walked away. Obviously, I imagine he was thinking, "Grandma, I may be a child but I am no fool.”
Being a parent is tasking but, it is a beautiful task therefore, a blessing. It gets overwhelming sometimes even more for single parents. I always say to parents to remember that “we” are the parents, the responsible/wiser ones. So, create a healthy environment/routine for kids. Routines like having a set time for bedtime, healthy eating habits, distinguishing for daughters, uncles from “uncles,” making childhood memories simply; happy ones and more...
TIP: I remind my kids that mommy is not a machine because machines get exhausted sometimes and will break down if and when not properly maintained. "Mommy needs mommy time just like you have your playtime and stuff."
I ask my kids sometimes, "Do your teachers repeat or teach same topic every single day, so why do you have to make me repeat myself every single day?” Of course, they look at me pretending to be confused, with their eyes wide open worried if going on a "Time-out" is the next action.
In the meantime, every morning, when the alarm goes off, my kids wake up, pray, make their beds (Most times) and start to get ready for school. Every morning, they drag on who is meant to go take a shower first, though it has been decided how it is routinely done every day/week. Every morning, I resolve same issue. So, last night I had a thought, same thought I had the day before and the day before that day. I decided to put this thought to test this morning!!!
I told my kids, “When the alarm goes off, decide on the right thing to do. The bottom-line is to make sure everyone is downstairs, fully dressed and be ready for breakfast at 7:30. It is okay to stay upstairs until the bus comes; your choice. I will stay in my bedroom till 7:30 then I will fix breakfast (Meanwhile, they each order different menus as if they are over at Le Peep's, IHOP or Denny's for breakfast) for whoever that is ready to go to school. But, note that if you miss the bus, you are not going to be a "Car Rider" but, the "Neighborhood Watch" member. I am not taking you to school and you are not staying home either.” I kissed everyone goodnight and went to bed. While doing the dishes, I heard my daughters having a conversation about my conversation or rather, instruction (Or threat) to them. Meanwhile, my four year old son was busy throwing stuffed animals at his brother.
At exactly 7:37 this morning, three of them (Meanwhile, my four year old son was already downstairs in his PJ and of course, in the pantry trying to reach for Hawaiian rolls without permission) came to my bedroom and said, “Good morning mommy. How was your sleep?” They were all fully dressed and ready for school. I gave each of them a big hug and commended them for an excellent effort.
During tonight’s family prayer, my 6 year old daughter added to her prayers with her eyes closed, “Thank you God for making us listen to mommy. She was happy when she saw us in the morning. God, make Dumdum to stop making fun of my hair. Mommy, Dumdum said, my hair is too long and I am tiny…” Then, she started crying. Meanwhile, Dumdum jumped right in to of course, defend himself.
QUESTION: When you pick your nose without using a tissue paper or use the toilet without washing your hands, or when you fight with or hit your spouse in front of the children... what do you think goes on in the mind of a child that sees more than you think he/she sees? TIP: Be a good role model to every child, starting with yourself.
Kids will always be kids. It could be hard sometimes to be not so tolerant when they behave in not so seemingly pleasing ways. They are one of the reasons we struggle, our parents struggled, to achieve our goals and dreams. Create a healthy loving environment for every child no matter what. Give them memories to last them a lifetime so that when they are adults, they will remember and could or maybe would try to emulate the good lessons learned growing up.
One of my simple pleasures is to love from and with all my heart and that, I also teach my kids. I look at every child and I see the reason God decided that the world should go on. Still, I imagine what could be going on in their minds/hearts most of the time. Sometimes, I watch my kids while they sleep. They smile or not. I heard one of them say the other day, "Dumdum, I got it first." Guess who did? Even while sleeping, they worry about childish things while we worry about this and that; what life throws at us or not (Awake or not) but, being thankful while doing it, hopefully.
Remember: In the midst of every child’s toughness, manipulations, calmness, tantrums or whatever a child has in his/her mind/heart, is an absolute love, just like God intended.
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